let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
