Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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