Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
