apparently the secret to your success is patron
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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