if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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