Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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