Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Boobs are out for the taking
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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