i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize