I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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