Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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