You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
