Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Sorry about my life...
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
