But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
