I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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