You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
