I think I died a long time ago.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
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wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
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The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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