Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
