After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
