dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
