Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
