bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
