She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
