We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
