the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
