I want to stick my p in your. b.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
