You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
