how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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