can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
