And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize