It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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