Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
