I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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