I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Randomize
