:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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