someone get that fucking seahorse.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
