i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
