put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
