I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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