Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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