Are we in a gay sports bar?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
she pinky promised me she was 18
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Randomize
