Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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