I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
