Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
