are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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