Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
