On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
