I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
