Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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