i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
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I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
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He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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