he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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