I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
