You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He? As in you personified your dick?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
