do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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