i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
