Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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