i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
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Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
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You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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