Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.

Fav 70 4137 992
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(402): View more from Nebraska

P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.

Fav 5 4060 787
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(813): View more from Florida

Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.

Fav 44 1296 5605
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(314): View more from Missouri

i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.

Fav 19 4954 1474
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(505): View more from New Mexico

you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.

Fav 28 4418 1214
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(316): View more from Kansas

You love me.

(785): View more from Kansas

That's because, tragically, I adore whores.

Fav 29 8587 1926
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(864): View more from South Carolina

Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.

Fav 6 3866 1177
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(716): View more from New York

Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning

Fav 2 650 426
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(919): View more from North Carolina

You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.

Fav 0 78 5
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