Pants 0. Shit 1.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
