she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
