How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
