In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
