If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
