shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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