I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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